Let’s be grateful

As I mentioned earlier, good manners and true professionalism seem to be occurring less and less.  However, upon further introspection, it came to mind just how many fantastic experiences I’ve had with customer service representatives. 

I often take my 90 year old mother grocery shopping.  She likes to go to a “bargain outlet” type store, where the prices are more affordable.  However, part of the “bargain” is that we bag our own groceries.  On this particular occasion it was raining cats and dogs, so I hurried outside to bring the car closer.  I ran back in, fully intending to bag her groceries, and much to my surprise, the checker had already bagged them!

She could have left them to pile up, but she didn’t.  She had no obligation to do this, but what a help she was!  My mom was so appreciate, and let it be known to the checker and thanked her for her kindness.  The checker glowed with her gracious treatment, and I could see how much a little bit of thankfulness meant to her.

It brings to mind the number of times that salespeople and customer service representatives go the extra mile without even a smile, much less a “thank you.”

As a few readers of our blog pointed out, often a checker is ignored altogether while the customer chats on the cell phone.  Sometimes the representative from the bank receives a good, old fashioned tongue lashing for something that is beyond his/her responsibilities, yet they handle the problem with no complaints. 

Many thanks should be given, but are not.  We might take a moment to thank all of the unsung heroes  who do stellar jobs and perhaps don’t hear words of gratitude frequently enough. 

Where have the manners gone?

Recently, I was at the grocery store and was unable to locate their preferred “savings” card.  I only had a few items, and asked the clerk if she’d mind using her number for this transaction.  She brusquely replied that it is impossible for her to do that.  I had actually been in the store 2 weeks prior, and another clerk used her number with a smile and a “no problem” attitude.  Now I was in a situation here- do I call her out on the lie?  Do I just buck up and not get the savings since I was one who misplaced my card?

The incident made me wonder what has been happening to professionalism & good manners lately.  A colleague of mine gave a workshop last month, and he was dissatisfied with his performance.  Now, his quality was still incredibly high, but not to his standards, so he graciously offered the company a refund, in the hopes that good relations be maintained.  Yet, to my astonishment, the decision maker took him to task by verbally, rudely, and angrily bashing him, his company, and his skill level before collecting any facts-an unwarranted emotional outburst.  The lack of professionalism & disrespect he received was unacceptable in my book.

So, let’s all take a deep breath, look our customer in the eye, and smile.  Yes, the smile can even be heard over the phone.  I’m certainly not suggesting that a firm answer & even sometimes a stern tone isn’t warranted.  I’m not even suggesting that the customer is always right. However, let’s get our point across while maintaining a modicum of civility & decency.  Bashing someone only reflects poorly on the one doing it. 

Are personality inventories valuable?

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator^® (MBTI^®) instrument is a questionnaire designed to make Carl Jung’s ideas about psychological type useful in everyday life. It identifies a person’s four basic type preferences that combine into one of 16 different personality types. These results help you understand normal differences in the way people think, communicate, and interact—differences that can be the source of much misunderstanding.

On the MBTI notion, it is unethical to use the MBTI for the selection process or in promotion interviews and considerations.  It is unethical to make those type of judgments based on the instrument.  The MBTI is only used to help people understand the different communication/personality styles.  It does not tell people their type.  Everyone can be any type they want.  One of the best things is its assumption that all 16 types are good.  The types are strictly defined as "preferences." 

Many "mainstream" psychologists find faults with the instrument; however, they are the same ones promoting other instruments.  One of the knocks I have on the MBTI is in the area of Reliability and Validity.  Thousands of research projects give the instrument excellent standing on these two important aspects; however, I noticed most are done by the Publisher of the test, or someone the publisher financed, or the Association on Personality Type.  So, it could be a valid concern.  However, critics have not done studies with findings one way or the other, they simply point out the flaws.

Besides, if people can pick their type and it makes them feel good, what is really wrong with that?  I don't agree with some of the pop psychology out there today; however, if it makes people feel good, and they change their lives for the better, who am I to be critical? 

Use your current Communication skills more often

Often, improving communication skills will help with your organization’s morale and thus productivity.  It can also increase sales on sales calls.  You don’t have to try “new” techniques, or different ways of “manipulation;” all you need is to do is a few things you naturally do; however, you do them more often. 

Try to do more of the following examples and you might be surprised at the huge impact these little things make:

Smile more. When dealing with employees, vendors, and customers try to smile while you are talking with them and make them feel you are happy they are talking with you.

Drop everything and listen.  When someone wants to talk with you, put down your phone, turn away from your computer, stop writing notes, turn your chair towards the person, put your hands on your lap or at your side, look them in the eye and listen.  Make that person feel like they are the most important person in the world to you at that time.

Catch people doing something right, or genuinely compliment people on specific behaviors.  When your employee, vendor, or customer says something profound, stop and complement her/him on the idea, when you see someone behaving in a good way, stop and tell them how you noticed he/she was doing a good job on that particular act.

Make people feel you are glad to interact with them.  
Try incorporating one or all four of these things in your everyday interactions and observe the huge    paybacks for simply making people feel important. 

Write me with your feedback.

Happy New Year!

When it comes to clients, customers, prospects, family and friends, The Golden Rule, "do unto others as you'd have done unto you" is outdated.

Consider The Platinum Rule instead, "Do unto others as they would have done unto themselves."

Consider the slight difference.

Happy and Prosperous New Year

Have you earned your ethos today?

Have you earned your ethos today?

Ethos is having good character, morality, and ethics.

In order to influence others, persuade, and sell, you must have ethos.  However, ethos does not exist in your mind.  Just thinking and saying you have it doesn't make it so.  It is in the minds of others and the only way you can earn it is by doing good deeds.

Saying the following won't establish your ethos, and in most cases, is insulting to others:

• Trust me                                   
• You can count on me
• You can believe me
• I wouldn't lie to you
• I've been doing this for 16 years
• I'm not lying
• Honestly
• You can take what I say to the bank
• I'm going to be truthful
• To be honest with you
• To tell you the truth
• I'm a good person    

You must build ethos over time by looking out for the best interest of others.  Your ethos exists only in their minds.

What did you do today to earn your ethos?  

Rod Mattson December 2011

Mattson Communication Training
mattsoncommunication.com

Stand up and Speak up: Have a vision and sell it

“More than anything, the difference between a leader and a manager rests on the status quo: Managers are willing to live with it, and leaders are not.

Leaders are the ones with vision, who inspire others and cause them to galvanize their efforts and achieve change.  Managers, on the other hand, will follow standard operating procedure to their graves, if necessary, because they don’t possess the ability to change course.

Which do you suppose is the more important attribute to possess as we move into the next century?

The fact is, America and its business community have been managed to the edge of ruin, and now we’re in desperate need of leaders.  Unfortunately, it is increasingly difficult to find men and women of vision who are willing to stand on principle and make their voices heard.”

—Warren Bennis

Professor Bennis wrote this in 1997, before executives of auto manufacturers flew to Washington D.C. in private jets asking for billions of dollars to keep their companies in business, before AIG got greedy with the huge in income from premiums for insuring bad loans, before rating agencies rated BBB bonds as AAA for a little extra fee, before the American Dream of owning your own house was shattered because you couldn’t afford it,  before the Wars in Iraq and Afghanistan,  before jets crashed in to the World Trade Center Towers, the Pentagon, and Pennsylvania, etc. 

Bennis is right, we need leaders.  My theory is we have them; but, they refuse to stand up and speak.  To paraphrase Martin Luther King Jr. “I am not concerned with bad people doing bad things, I am concerned with the good people who see bad things and do nothing.”

There are many reasons why people won’t develop a vision, stand up and speak out; I can understand many of the reasons; however, it’s time; we are making too many bad decisions.  Say what you want about President Obama, he is a leader with a vision, he is just having a hard time selling the vision for various reasons.  

Let’s commit to one of two things: stand up to help sell his vision or stand up, share, and work for “buy in” to an alternative vision.

On a more micro level, you can start in your organization or community.

If you cannot stand up and lead, then learn how.

Source: Managing People is Like Herding Cats by Warren Bennis (1997) Publishers Press