Mattson on Communication: The Glass is too Big

Mattson on Communication: The Glass is too Big: Last week, after a presentation, a gentleman from the audience came up to me and said they had a “motivational speaker” last month.   ...

The Glass is too Big

Last week, after a presentation, a gentleman from the audience came up to me and said they had a “motivational speaker” last month. 

 

Immediately I cringed because it is a term used very loosely, but, I’ll address that notion later. 

He told me the speaker talked about a positive mental attitude and that she saw the glass as half full rather than half empty.  She proceeded to involve the audience and ask this gentleman how he saw the glass, half full or half empty.  He replied, “I agree with George Carlin, he says if there isn’t enough water to fill the glass, then the glass is too big.”

That brought a good laugh from all of us standing around chatting.  However, it was a good point.  I believe the underlying message of this guy and George Carlin is the notion that someone can determine if you are a positive or negative person base on your answer to one silly question is ridiculous.

I must admit, I have heard this many times by such speakers and I just roll my eyes.  However, I am aware that this is simply my viewpoint and if these things make someone feel better or more happy, I am all for them.  I just think happiness, positive mental attitude, success, and so on are way more complex than boiling it down to a glass half filled with water.

On being a motivational speaker, I was introduced to a large group of college students as a “motivational speaker” recently and as I was taking the stage, I flashed back to the “Glass is too big” comment that day.  It made me laugh and put me in a good mood to address this notion of motivational speaking as I approached the podium. 

It turned out to be a surprisingly good attention getter when I suggested that none of us can motivate another person.  We can only motivate ourselves.  On one hand though, we can get to know individuals and listen to find out what motivates them, then provide an environment to help each person reach his/her goals, but to actually motive someone comes from within, not from someone up on a stage.

If you are ever asked if you see the glass as half full or half empty, respond like that gentleman and George Carlin, “I think the glass is too big.”

Mattson on Communication: Overcoming the Fear of Public Speaking

Mattson on Communication: Overcoming the Fear of Public Speaking: Over the past several years, my feelings on this topic have evolved.   I spent over 23 years of my adult life being terrified of Public Sp...

Overcoming the Fear of Public Speaking

Over the past several years, my feelings on this topic have evolved.  I spent over 23 years of my adult life being terrified of Public Speaking such that it put my career into a deep freeze.  I overwhelmed myself with the fear of looking incompetent, being laughed at, and looking pathetic.  I would almost pass out at the thought of standing in front of a group even though I seemed to excel in one-on-one communication.

After years of study, practice, and a determined mindset to “harness” this fear, I succeeded in harnessing the fear even to the point of writing a book on the findings of my research and teaching others to improve their public speaking skills.

I gave a presentation yesterday at a service club on Public Speaking for Introverts, and had some interesting questions come up.  One of them was, "How did you overcome your fear, specifically?" I actually did go to a public speaking consultant, and they helped me by observing my speeches, then working with me to not only organize my speech therefore improving my message, but to also give me the practice of presenting to a room; even though they were the only one in it at the time!  The effect was to gradually give me the confidence to realize that I had the ability to do it.  I could get in front of a group and, with an organized speech, and lots of practice, my message would be focused and interesting.  It had such a positive effect on my professional life, that I too provide public speaking consulting as part of my business.  It's a wonderful feeling to see someone with my same initial fear become a successful and confident speaker. 

My feelings now (knowledgeable of The Francis Effect) are that most of my fear was based on an overwhelming amount of self-consciousness and selfishness.  I was so self-absorbed, my own feelings of fear were more important than any useful information I could share with others, thus stopping me before I got started.  The price was many years of lower pay, less help to others, and wasted time of friends enduring my private proclamations that I knew better than the brave people in front of the group.

If you can get the mindset that your message is more important than how you look, then, the fear will not debilitate you as it gives way to courage resulting in valuable information you will share with others.

Focus on your message and the audience, not yourself.

Mattson on Communication: Perception

Mattson on Communication: Perception: Perception Defined – How we view the world This definition begs many questions. What does it mean, “How we view the world?”   Doesn’...

Perception

Perception

Defined – How we view the world

This definition begs many questions. What does it mean, “How we view the world?”
 

Doesn’t everybody view the world the same? 

The truth is the truth, right?
 

Is there only one reality or many realities?
 

Don’t we see what’s real?

How is our view of the world different than the real world, or is it?

Imagine you live in an apartment building – make it a 10 story apartment building, and there are windows all around the building on every floor. You’re looking out at the world from your window. 

Will your view of the world be the same as someone looking out from a different window? Will it be the same if someone came over and looked out of your window?

What differences do you expect between looking out your window and someone else looking out a different window?

We can conclude we all view the world differently and have different realities.

Can you think of an instance where you viewed an event and later learned the reality turned out to be something else?

"For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don’t believe, no proof is possible."
–Stuart Chase

Mattson on Communication: Public Speaking Training Improves Effectiveness in...

Mattson on Communication: Public Speaking Training Improves Effectiveness in...: Public speaking training is about more than just public speaking.   We are convinced the principles that guide effective speeches and ...